


Right As Rain

by Bizarra



Series: We Know The Way [1]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-28 23:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15717576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bizarra/pseuds/Bizarra
Summary: B'Elanna finds a surprising person sitting alone in the Mess Hall  at 0200 hours, and ends up making a friend.





	Right As Rain

**Author's Note:**

> This story and Now's Your Moment collectively make up the Prologue for the We Know The Way series.

B’Elanna was hungry after her shift and walked into what she knew would be an empty Mess Hall. She liked being on Beta shift, every once in while. Sometimes, walking home at nearly 0200 was pleasant, because the ship was quiet and ambiently lit in nighttime mode; if the crew weren’t working in their respective positions, they were sleeping. Blessedly, that included Neelix. 

With a quick glance of the room, B’Elanna noted it was, in fact, empty. She walked to the replicator and ordered a raktajino and a plate of banana pancakes. With food in hand, she turned to find a table near the viewport and stopped short. It was only then B’Elanna noticed the small figure sitting in the shadows, in the corner of the room. She wore nightclothes and curled into herself on the end of the couch, watching the stars, clearly lost in some other place. B’Elanna didn’t recognize who it was, right away; loose, long hair draped nearly to the woman’s elbows and covering her face. It was only when the figure reached a hand up to wipe something- a tear maybe? - from her cheek, and pulled away the hair in the process, that recognition clicked with a jolt.

B’Elanna, at that moment, was torn between setting her food down and comforting the clearly-upset woman or leaving her alone, as likely would be her wish. She didn’t know Captain Janeway that well, yet, but she knew enough to know that Janeway would prefer that none of the crew saw her this vulnerable. It was clear that her presence hadn’t been noticed, and B’Elanna could easily slip away, but, something drew her in. Perhaps it was the ragged sigh.

Her decision made, B’Elanna quietly set her food down, then walked back to the replicator and started to order the captain’s usual coffee, but changed her mind at the last minute and ordered a hot chamomile tea. Now, how to approach the captain without either scaring her back behind her wall or ending up in the brig? Taking a deep breath, B’Elanna decided it was now or never, and approached slowly, as one would move in on a wounded Targ.

“Captain?” she said quietly, holding out the tea as if it were a shield.

With a surprised jerk, Kathryn turned and noticed who was talking to her. She took a deep breath, quickly wiped her eyes, and steeled herself. She sat and dropped her legs to the floor, “Lieutenant. I didn’t notice you come in.” She started to stand. “I’ll leave you to your meal.”

“No,” B’Elanna stopped her, “wait.” She offered the tea. “I can see you’re upset. I’m sorry to bother you. But,” she hesitated for a moment, “I thought you might want to talk. You know,” she stammered, “to someone.”

Kathryn gave her a soft smile and took the offered tea, “Thank you, but I’m fine.

The young half-klingon sat in a chair next to her commanding officer and regarded her: “With all due respect, I don’t think you are.” She briefly glanced out at the passing stars, then turned back to the woman in front of her. “You’re in the mess hall, wearing your pajamas at 0210 and staring out of the viewport; your mind a million miles away.”

“Lieutenant.”

The use of her rank sounded more like a warning, but, as B’Elanna had already stepped in it, she may as well see it through. “You’re clearly upset about something and the commander always tells me I’m a good listener,” she noticed a slight intake of breath when she mentioned Chakotay. B’Elanna realized, then, that he was the reason the captain was upset. “Did he upset you, somehow?”

“No, of course not.” Kathryn furrowed her brows. “He talks to you?”

“We’re friends,” B’Elanna explained, “we talk to each other.” Though, lately, he had been distant. She felt like she needed to clarify: “I’d never betray a confidence, either way. I would never tell him what you told me. I’d never tell you what he told me.” Again, she gestured to the stars. “We’re a long way from home. We’ve only got each other.”

“I can’t afford to make friends,” Kathryn said harshly, “I need to concentrate on getting you, and everyone else on this ship, home.”

“You’re human, Captain.” B’Elanna gave her a look, “You’re not an automaton. Even the Vulcans have feelings. They’re repressed, but if you’ve ever been dressed-down by Lieutenant Tuvok, you know they’re there.”

Kathryn unsuccessfully fought a smile and covered by taking a sip of the tea. She turned serious again: “We’re in uncharted territory. I have to stay on guard. Someone’s got to take care of the crew.”

“But who takes care of you?” B’Elanna couldn’t help but notice the shadowed look of pain that crossed her Captain’s eyes, before it was replaced by the usual, steely resolve. She watched as the other woman turned again to the stars and took a drink. The silence drew out, thick and awkwardly. After what seemed like an hour - but was, in reality, about five minutes - a small voice, deep with regret asked: “Why did you disobey my orders and contact the Vidiians?”

“I’m sorry?” B’Elanna asked, confused about the comment.

“Why did you come back for us?” Kathryn asked as she lifted her feet back onto the couch and curled into herself again.

“Because we couldn’t just leave you the…” She stopped, mid-sentence, as realization dawned. “You didn’t want to come back.”

Kathryn laughed ruefully. “And therein lies the double-edged sword.” She took the final drink of the tea, draped her arms over her knees, and let the now-empty cup drop to the cushion at her bare feet. “Because we’re out here, in the middle of nowhere, I have to stay committed to getting this ship and her crew home. I don’t get to have a life. Not here. Not,” Kathryn hesitated and swallowed the lump in her throat, “now.”

“You love him,” B’Elanna said softly, with a sudden understanding.

Kathryn squeezed her eyes shut at the sound of it said out loud, and again turned to the stars. “That never leaves this room. You aren’t to tell anyone. Not Tom, not Harry,” she faced her chief engineer, “and especially not him.”

Emboldened, B’Elanna scooted to the edge of her chair. “Doesn’t he know?”

“I don’t know. Maybe?” Kathryn leveled an almost accusatory gaze at the half-Klingon. “We weren’t there long enough.”

“I’m so sorry.” And she was. They’d been so hell-bent on getting them back, no one had even considered what was happening on the planet and whether they’d even want to come back.

Kathryn shook her head, trying to clear her mind, “It’s not your fault. In the long run, you did the right thing.” She took a deep breath. “I’m the one who wasted the time. All I wanted to do was find a cure and get us off that planet. Chakotay spent the time turning it into a home.” She picked at some imagined lint on her pajama pants as she continued talking. Once the dam had burst, she couldn’t stop the flow of words. “I was so angry with him. Why did he give up so quickly? Why was he so content to stay?”

She leaned to pick up the errant cup and set it down on the table next to the couch with a resounding thunk. “Then, the plasma storm happened and all of my research was lost. I saw that as the universe telling me it was time to give up and I’d finally come around to Chakotay’s way of thinking. Best to make do with what we had and live in the present.” Kathryn took a deep breath. “We started working on making our little house more liveable. I planted a garden; he was building a boat, so we could explore our new Earth.” She looked at B’Elanna. “That’s what we called it; our planet. New Earth,” she sighed. “I was going to finally tell him how I felt. He’d already told me, couched in one of his stories.” Kathryn smiled at the memory. “I was going to tell him, finally.” She brushed an unbidden tear away with annoyance. “Then we heard from Tuvok,” Kathryn regarded the woman who sat next to her, “and here we are.”

B’Elanna sat and listened. The more the captain spoke, the more B’Elanna understood the tenseness that had been between her and Chakotay since their untimely return to the ship. They’d clearly been moving toward a relationship, and Voyager’s return had thwarted it. No wonder the tension on the bridge had been so thick over the last couple weeks. “You can still tell him,” B’Elanna said softly.

“What good would that do?” Mild anger flashed across Kathryn’s blue eyes. ”Nothing can come of it here.”

“Why not?” B’Elanna was genuinely confused.

Kathryn sighed. “Starfleet proto-”

“Targshit,” B’Elanna exclaimed, “we’re sixty-plus years away from Starfleet. To Hell with protocol.” She may only have known this woman a little over a year, but, she respected Janeway and didn’t think it was fair for her to completely give up her life for Voyager. B’Elanna couldn’t imagine anyone at Starfleet thinking that, either. 

“Lieutenant.” Again, her rank came with an almost-warning tone, but B’Elanna wasn’t going to be swayed. They were both miserable and, in the process, making everyone else miserable.

“B’Elanna,” she insisted. “This is an off-duty conversation between, well, friends, I hope.” She continued: “Look, Captain-” she hesitated, “Kathryn.” B’Elanna hoped she wasn’t overstepping her bounds. ”There isn’t a person on this ship who would begrudge you having a life. Of loving someone,” she shrugged, “even if it is your first officer.”

“I can’t, I’ve got a fiance.”

“Who’s going to wait sixty years?” B’Elanna levelled her a look. “Any more excuses?”

Yeah, Kathryn hadn’t really bought that one, herself. “I’m starting to rethink your rank,” Kathryn said with a slightly crooked smile.

B’Elanna gave her a grin. “Then I guess I don’t have much to lose. So, get your butt up off that couch and go tell him.”

Kathryn hesitated, but turned to stand. Could she really do this? How would it affect their command? They’d been tiptoeing around each other for the last two weeks, anyway. Anything would be an improvement. Would the crew really not care? 

“Go!” B’Elanna said, “don’t think. Just go.” She smiled. “Before I pull you off that couch and drag you down there, myself.”

Kathryn stood and put her hands on her hips. “Just who is the captain of this ship?”

“You are,” B’Elanna laughed, “but I’ve got the keys.” She shooed Kathryn off with the back of her hands. “Go. Before we suddenly develop engine trouble.”

Kathryn rolled her eyes, then turned serious. “Would the crew really be okay with this?” At the resulting glare, Kathryn turned and started to walk out. She saw an uneaten plate of food and a drink on one of the tables as she passed it, and turned. “Was this your dinner?”

B’Elanna nodded. “But it’s okay. A friend needed help, instead.”

Kathryn smiled and recycled the cold dinner, then requested a new order of the same thing, using her own replicator rations. “Here.” She set the now-fresh plate of pancakes and raktajino back on the table. “Your friend says thank you.”

“Are you going to take your friend’s advice?” B’Elanna asked as she approached her fresh dinner.

Kathryn smiled: “Yes. I think I am.” Her mood was lighter than it had been since the call from Tuvok came over the combadges on New Earth. “Enjoy your pancakes.”

B’Elanna took a drink of her Raktajino and gave her captain a definitely wicked grin. “Enjoy your first officer.”

The comment hung in the silence for a moment, before Kathryn laughed heartily and left the room, her laugh echoing behind.


End file.
